Great Expectations (Featured on Finding Balance)

I hate that it has been this long since I've last written, but this summer was full of lots of change and new beginnings. We had two weddings in the family and twice as many birthdays. Heath and I were blessed with the opportunity to go on two vacations, also. We  hiked up Mt. LeConte in the Smokies for our anniversary in June, and in July, we went out West and did some exploring in the Rocky Mountain National Park. We also got to see the Badlands and Mt. Rushmore. We had a beautiful, special time.

My husband and I have been blessed to be with each other for nearly nine years--over four of them being married, and I believe that God has given us these years to learn about each other and have time to really relax and have fun. Well, God has us a family in the works now. Yep, we're expecting! We should expect our little one in May--a perfect time for my husband and me, as we are teachers. We'll have all summer to get to know him/her and figure out what in the world we're doing.

Telling our families was a joy, especially with our seven-year-old niece. She didn't believe us at first, but when it started sinking in, she couldn't take her eyes off of my stomach. She kept asking, "Is there really a baby in there?" It was precious.

All of this attention is taking its toll on me. I have fears about showing too early or too late, and I also have this dreadful feeling that people are going to be monitoring every ounce of food that goes into my mouth and every single pound I gain. As if I'm trying not to be obsessed with it myself!

I'll be honest: I don't know what I'm doing. I have read a couple of books, but I'm still a little unsure about the next eight months...ok...make that mega unsure. However, I know God has a reason for us to be blessed with this new adventure, and this and only this calms me down. Psalms 34:8 says "O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him." Whenever we're unsure, or when we doubt ourselves and our capabilities, God's ultimate plan steps in and proves us wrong.

Even in our most confused, stressed, unsure, and uneasy moments,  we'll never go off course when the Lord is steering our ships. What a beautiful promise in which to start off a beautiful new life!

Hello or Goodbye?

For me, this time of year has always evoked a sense of finality. Too many endings take place at the end of a school year: graduations, the dismissal of classes whom I grown to love as a teacher and mentor, and my birthday. With all of these transitions taking place, I'm often left with a nagging void that forces me to reflect on all of the decisions, choices, and actions I made throughout the year, and if you haven't noticed, reflecting isn't always easy. Sometimes we're made to acknowledge mistakes, insecurities--maybe even a little regret--that we would rather like to stay hidden. Oh, if it were only that easy. In my case, I wonder if I did my job to the best of my ability. Did I let any relationships fall by the wayside? Did I grow in my marriage, and most importantly, did I grow more disciplined in God's Word? Just when I feel as if I've answered the questions from the past year, I'm bombarded with the fears of the future. What's next? What will my students be like this next year? Is there anything that needs to be changed, revamped? What will I set out to accomplish, and how will I become a better person in this new year of life?

Similarly, I can remember being bogged down with the feelings of fear and anxiety I dealt with as I was slowly (yet surely) saying goodbye to my old ways of eating and viewing my outward appearance. I was confused and unsure of how I was going to handle myself without my routines and habits to cushion my fall that I would undoubtedly need at some point in time. However, through God's unyielding favor, His constant protection, and His unwavering love and patience, He used something new to help me say goodbye to something that was keeping me from growing. Thankfully, He allowed me to get to a place where I could finally plant my feet and stand with confidence.

With all of these feelings of reflection from the past year, and with all of the fears of the next year flooding my mind, I'm reminded of one of my favorite promises from the Lord: "For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you an expected end." (Jeremiah 29:11) This verse and the following verses reassure us that God has a plan for us, and that when we search for His guidance, He will always show up and provide us with the answers we need. See, goodbyes aren't that scary, and the unknown of the future is nothing to be afraid of. If God has brought us out of the dark places before, He will do it again.
Goodbyes are merely hellos in disguise!

Throwing Back the Pearl

As an English teacher and book lover, I thoroughly enjoy reading the classics of literature. One of the books I read this month was John Steinbeck's The Pearl. By looking at the size of the book, you wouldn't expect to come away with having learned a valuable lesson, but that's exactly what happens. I learned a lesson that could basically make every problem I will ever face vaporize into thin air if I utilize its principles.

The story begins with exposing the simple, everyday goings-on of a poor Mexican family just coming to life. Kino and his wife, Juana, have a small baby, Coyotito. They truly relish the simplicity of life: the smells of cooking corn cakes, the sight of the sun rising and setting each day, and the sound of their son cooing and gurgling.

The conflict arises when Coyotito gets stung by a scorpion. They are aware of the risk of death if a doctor isn't seen right away. As a result, they head into town knowing that they don't have enough money to see the doctor; nevertheless, they're hopeful the doctor will sympathize with them and treat their son. The doctor, pompous and arrogant, will have nothing to do with them, however. Kino, frustrated and determined to help his son, heads out into the sea to find a pearl that will fund his son's healing and recovery. Surprisingly, Kino finds a giant pearl--a pearl no one else has ever been fortunate enough to behold. This pearl seems to embody the power to answer any questions Kino has ever had about his life. His son will now be able to go to school, he and his wife will now have new clothes, and any other need in his life will now be met.

The townspeople are now in a state of commotion, chaos, and jealously, and the pearl buyers, who have already heard of the great pearl and its beauty, are in conspiracy with each other, refusing to buy the pearl for what it's worth. Moreover, even though the baby has healed on his own, the doctor pretends that something is still wrong with him. He gives the baby something to make him sick just so he will have to heal him--all for money. To make matters worse, thieves hunt for the pearl in the middle of the night, putting Kino and his family in serious danger. Kino even ends up killing someone over the pearl. The entire time this has been transpiring, Juana has been the voice of reason. Continuously, she attempts to persuade Kino to throw back the pearl, but he refuses. One night, he catches her on her way to the ocean to throw it back, and he hits her. His family is officially tearing apart. As a consequence from all of these events, he and his family are forced to run away.

Thirsty, tired, hungry, and dirty, the family is hunted as they climb the dry, deserted mountains to a place of safety. They are eventually hunted down, however, and the baby pays the ultimate price for his father's greed.

After reading this book, my mother said that she had read this in high school. This just goes to prove that the lesson in The Pearl is timeless and that we can translate its message into every avenue of our lives. For instance, I thought of my former eating and weight issues in relation to this lesson. At one time, I achieved a weight I thought would bring me the peace and happiness I had desired for years. Oddly enough, that peace and happiness was never satisfied, and because of it, I lost relationships, my strength, my personality, my hopes, my dreams...it stripped me of life. I lived this way until I made a decision: a decision to throw back my pearl.

Sometimes it's necessary--crucial, even--to throw back our "pearls." It's one of the hardest things we will ever be faced with because it doesn't make sense. When we make ourselves believe that all of our problems will be squelched if ________ happens, it's difficult to believe life could be great in any other capacity. More often than not, however, we search our entire lives for a pearl, not knowing that we often find more than what we bargained for in the process.

In short, love, as sacred and as pure as it truly is, is all we need to live happy, successful lives. God gave us His ultimate example, and if we model ourselves after it, we will always have provision.

Living Blessed

You've truly reached your dreams when you can look at your life and find that what you have is enough.

Back to the Basics (Featured on FB)

It seems like for the greater portion of my life, I strove and fought to get to the place where I could finally say This is where I'm supposed to be.  I kept waiting on life to raise that white flag and say, "Alright. You found me!" What I learned, however, is that this "place" we strive so hard to get to is like a mirage. Sometimes we think we can see a glimpse of it forming before us, but the closer we get to it, the quicker it dissolves into thin air and replaces itself with a new vision.

Has it always been this way? Have we always been a people who are never satisfied, who are always searching for more? Was there ever a time when people just lived?

These questions truly began to develop last week while my husband and I were backpacking on Mt. LeConte, the second largest mountain in Tennessee's Great Smoky Mountains. With only a mile or so left of the trail to climb, it started to snow, and as we ascended, the weather grew colder, and the snow fell stronger and more blustery than I had ever witnessed before. As we stood there on a ledge waiting out the storm, it truly felt as if we were trapped in a blizzard. My clothes were getting wet, my hands were becoming icicles, and my spirits were dampening by the minute. Obviously, getting to my destination and getting warm were my primary concerns; all of my other worries had seemed to vanish.

Once on top of the mountain, we took refuge in the dining hall and lodge, sipping hot cocoa and resting by the gas-lit heaters. We found ourselves staring out of the window, growing increasingly more aware of the cold night in the shelter that lay before us, and as daylight slowly diminished and a icy, bleak darkness swept over the mountain, I began to think about the people who used to inhabit those mountains hundreds of years ago. They weren't worried about how many calories they consumed, how high they could climb up the corporate ladder, or how shiny their new cars were. They weren't constantly attached to cell phones or continuously checking their social-networking accounts. They focused on what was real, and reality for these people was family...and survival. We, on the contrary, live lives where failure isn't an option, where the amount of choices we have is incalculable, and where stress is a natural part of life. In sum, we live in an easy world that we choose to make difficult.

While the wind howled through the fir trees, and the first signs of sleep finally began to settle in, I realized that all it takes is getting out of our comfort zones--even for just a day--to really make us feel alive and human. Simply take us out of our element for a moment, and we will find ourselves falling back into a pattern mimicking that of a child: yearning to be warm, fed, held, dry, and clean. Everything else--all the noise that drowns out what truly matters in life--no longer remains a concern. Miraculously, the little problems that used to plague us no longer seem so important, and the little things we used to overlook now seem so precious and beautiful.

We are all guilty of forgetting how to live with the innocence of a child,  but learning to live a little simpler will allow us to truly grasp what love really means. Moreover, it will give us a broader view of the world around us, helping us to prioritize what really counts. Living a slower, simpler life can help connect us with our desire to feel safe...human...loved. This desire is what sets us apart from everything else; it's what the human soul craves the most. It's what makes being human so special.

As we hiked down the mountain the next day, the sun shone brightly, and the formerly snow-laden tree boughs revealed blooms that would blossom within a few, short days. It seemed as if we had been transplanted to another season. Life is like that sometimes. Below the surface of all of our stresses, headaches, and problems, something special is taking shape just for us. We need only to calm our minds, listen for God's still voice, and truly learn to let go of those things that incessantly burden us.

The snow storms of life don't have to stop us from living. The sun will rise again, and with that, we have peace.

Social Networking: Friend or Foe?

The beginning...

I can remember when the Internet really started booming in the nineties and finally crossed the thresholds into our very own homes. People said that it was a "wave of the future" and that it would create a way for the world to communicate by the click of a mouse. People could meet others with similar interests, stay in touch with out-of-town family members and friends, get business done, play Solitaire, and look up research in an online encyclopedia all at the same time. Unfortunately, we soon found out that there was a negative side to the Internet, what with the insane (and very explicit) amounts of junk mail that poured into our mailboxes each and every day, the annoying pop-ups that littered our screens, and the time it actually took to access the Web as a whole. However, we were sold. It didn't take us long to realize that the old-fashioned way we used to manage our lives had soon become an afterthought.

Sometimes, it's possible to become too connected. 

If the Internet and its wealth of knowledge wasn't enough to keep us all in a trance, the social network (in all its forms) quickly changed the way our lives function altogether. My first experience with social networking probably began with America Online (AOL) chat rooms. My friends and I used to log into these and talk to people all over the country. We thought it was the most awesome thing we had ever encountered. What was even cooler, however, was the fact that we got to talk to each other via instant messenger without even picking up the telephone. Now, that was cool. If you would've told me then that there would be cell phones that sent messages--and better yet--talked to you (Yes, Siri, I'm talking about you.), I would've called you crazy for sure. And if you would've told me that there would be a hub where millions of people could connect, reconnect, upload pictures, and post their every moves, I would've laughed at you and wondered why anyone would ever want to do that. Well, now I know. When Facebook finally came around in 2004, it was my first year of college. I was enrolled at The University of Alabama, and all of my new coworkers and friends were tapped into this conduit of social effervescence. Truthfully, I simply thought it was a fancy way to meet people (a.k.a. dating service), and I had no desire for that. Hence, I kept my distance. Two years later, on the other hand, I signed up and haven't looked back since.

We've come a long way since then, and although we can all agree that the Internet and social networks suck up our time in copious amounts, we would be foolish to say that they haven't infiltrated every area of our lives. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't access it at work or at home on my phone. If I'm not posting attendance, checking my e-mail, looking up a recipe on Pinterest, blogging away about my last race, looking up a word on my dictionary app, uploading my latest pictures on Facebook, or Tweeting a calm musing to the Twittersphere, I'll find myself looking around the room, staring at a huge, black screen that once displayed mind-captivating pictures. Sometimes, I'll catch myself glancing at a shelf in the dining room that holds these rectangular-like objects I used to read. I think they're called books. Better yet, if I'm really lost, I'll find myself staring at my piano, the dog's leash, that beautiful casserole dish, or my old tennis racket and say, "Hmm...those could probably get a little more use."

I have to confess. I want to be the best wife, the best housekeeper, the best English teacher, the best Sunday school teacher, the best daughter, sister, and friend, the avid reader, the consistent piano player, the clear and steady singer, the keenest home decorator, the punctual, the smart, the pretty, the thin, the strong, the happy...the best I can be in everything. In short, I want to be superwoman, and over time, I've begun to understand that in order to accomplish all of this, I would have to neglect some things I used to really enjoy doing. But where do we draw the line? How can we stay connected when we're trying so hard to be our bests? Well, it's possible if you let social networking fill in the gaps and play the game for you.

And that's when I started scratching my head...


What exactly is a social life these days, and do I have one? Do I want one? Better yet, is social networking an impostor for one?

As with most people these days, the more I'm involved with social networking, the more connected I feel to the world without actually being a part of the world. Whereas some people might move colleges, neighborhoods, or churches to feel more connected, others might move to other cities, states, or even countries to find that lost link of unity. For most of us, however, we find that we can safely thrive in the instantaneous connections social networking provides us without even having to book a flight or list a house. We're all guilty of this. In a world that places typing over writing, texts over letters, blogs over diaries and journals, Angry Birds over board games, and online search engines over libraries, it's hard not to fall into the trap of the "microwave lifestyle." I don't know about you, but I've almost Twittered, Facebooked, pinned, and blogged myself into a virtual frenzy--all while in my pajamas. I rarely see my good friend who lives only an hour or so away, and my visits with my family have almost become nonexistent. And for the record, randomly writing on someone's wall or occasionally commenting on a Facebook picture does not qualify as quality time together.

The problem...

Most of us who have led the majority of our lives without social networking are simply playing around with these programs because we see them as new and different.  Between work and family, it's difficult to find time to break away from the daily grind; as a result, we often feel as if our lives are bound to our jobs and to our homes. Social networking provides an outlet for us to have the most convenient social lives ever imaginable. We can cook breakfast, wash clothes, and give the kids a bath all while uploading pictures from our latest vacation. We can be at work, in a car, at a ballgame, getting our hair cut, shopping for groceries...we can be anywhere and find out what our neighbor down the street is planning on having for supper or what our friend's sister's cousin's daughter wore to the prom. But these kids? When I look at my high-school students today, I see that they do not know a life without these things. This is their world.

As if figuring out who you are in your teenage years isn't hard enough, kids now not only have to worry about measuring up in their physical worlds; they have to compete virtually, as well. No longer is there only one identity to seek out and attempt to perfect; there are two. Our virtual identities, (I say our because all social networkers--not just kids and teens--have one) are extremely enticing to us because we feel that we have a better grasp on them and can manipulate them to portray the image we want others to see. We upload our best pictures and post statuses that make us seem like we are happy and have everything under control. We can all admit that we have often felt split between two worlds.

The area where I've seen teens struggle the most, however, is in their actual social skills, and I'm not merely pointing this out because I'm an English teacher who cringes when she sees "IDK" in an answer blank. First, tweeting and posting on walls gives teens a chance to say things they probably wouldn't say face-to-face because their limitations have been numbed by impulsiveness. As a result, when they get to school the next day, it's mayhem. Secondly, how can we teach teens that it's not "all about them" when social networking reinforces this idea each and every day? Moreover, if a relationship hasn't been validated by Facebook, it's obviously not official. Right? High school is dramatic enough. Why encourage the creation of a channel for it to flow even more freely than it ever has before? All of us have these questions, but we really don't know how to take the first step.

My challenge...

Taking all of this into consideration, I decided to engage some of my willing students (including myself) in a little competition to see if they could last a week without accessing a social network. One of my students dubbed it "The Triple 'F' Challenge" (Free From Facebook). All participants signed an honor code promising to abstain from Facebook, Twitter, and all things in between, and I asked them to write a daily journal before they went to bed explaining how they spent their time differently. You would be surprised as to what they said. Most explained how they got more sleep and felt better the following day. Others mentioned having a clearer head without having the Facebook news feed constantly reeling in their minds. What struck me the most, however, were those who mentioned reading their Bibles more and spending more time with their families. One girl even proceeded to say that she spent one of her Facebook-free evenings watching an episode of The Waltons with her mom and dad. (And if you happen to not know what The Waltons is, it's a family-friendly television show set in the World War II era that focuses on the struggles and hardships a loving, working-class family has to endure.)

I didn't expect my students to delete their accounts; I simply wanted to test their willpower and show other ways in which their time could be used. Honestly, I think we accomplished something great, and I think they learned a great deal about moderation and living a simpler, more easy-going life.

Life before we knew too much...

I often think life would be simpler if we lived like they did in The Waltons. Of course, I know the difference between fact and fiction, but the show is so similar to the stories I've heard my own grandparents tell about their own lives; it's hard not to respect the show and take it seriously. See, the Walton children were brought up on hard work and discipline. They had the opportunity to experience life, death, and the beauty of all that goes on in between those two extremes without Facebook or Twitter. I realize life was hard back then, but people also dealt with those hardships differently. They saw beauty and a lesson in everything, and they handled life's up's and down's as a family. If we could only attempt to make a place for this mentality in our own lives, we would be sharper, more considerate, more level headed, more appreciative of the little things, and more in tune with our families. I'm not a mother yet, but I am a teacher. Even though I'm not always perfect at this, one of my primary goals is to model moderation with the things we so often deem as necessities in today's culture--social networking being one of them. It might not be the answer, but it's a step in the right direction.

The ultimate challenge...

Social networking has its advantages, but when it becomes a chore, a bothersome nuisance we feel as if we have to use in order to feel as if we're a part of this bustling, burgeoning world, or something that comes in between us and our families, we might need to step back, reevaluate, and reconsider why we use it. I've heard students and adults alike say, "People might not think I have anything to do or that my life isn't as exciting as theirs." I've also heard, "Someone might think something is wrong with me if I don't continuously post about my life."

If social networking has become burdensome, tedious, meticulous, and annoying, take a break from and it and see how you feel. This same concept is applicable for anything that consumes our complete attention and takes the joy out of living.

It's all about balance.

Finally, social networking has been going on for ages. The Romans had their bathrooms, the aristocrats had their parlors and balls, and our grandmothers had (and still have) their salons. It's not a knew concept. It becomes a problem, however, when it takes us away from our faith and from our families. Will I delete my social networking accounts? As of right now, probably not. Will I eventually? Maybe. What I do know is that I will monitor why and when I use them a little more closely than I have before.

We could probably learn a lot from those Waltons kids or even our own grandparents, for that matter. Somehow, they managed to make it through life without knowing everybody's business, and keeping their own issues to themselves was a matter of dignity and pride. They had the time to truly connect with each other. You know, I suppose we could go so far as to say that the children of these types of families were pioneers in the world of social networking.

And I bet they would've called the first social networks families

The Power of Journaling (Featured on Finding Balance)

"The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium." ~Norbet Platt
                                                                                                                    
I have written in a journal since elementary school.  Most of my journals document my battle with my eating issues, but between bouts of confusion and doubt, I mention the simple, daily goings-on that God chose to let me experience and live out. Believe it or not, these little sections within my journals are my most precious pieces of writing. Now, I can read between the lines and learn that God was wielding all of my experiences together to create what I call my beautiful (yet somewhat crazy) life. 

Journaling can be a wonderful resource in our lives for three really good reasons: First, writing down all of life's up's and down's keeps us in tune with our growing identities. Sometimes, it's hard for us to expose our thoughts and emotions to even our closest of companions and friends, and sometimes, it's hard for us to admit the truth about what we're scared of or what we really want out of life. Journaling gives us an outlet to discover and explore the things about ourselves that we're scared to acknowledge. Once we spell it out on paper plainly and simply, it becomes official and valid, and by doing this, it becomes easier to deal with.


Secondly, journaling lets us remember. There's nothing like sitting down and remembering the events that marked a graduation, your wedding day, a birth. Likewise, reflecting on a milestone in the midst of our recoveries can help us get back on track if we hit a bump on the road...and those are bound to happen. Plus, even through some of my darkest times, I can look back in my journals and see that some pretty amazing things happened within that period of time. Often, I'll read things that make me say, "Wow. I almost missed that. If I wouldn't have been so concerned with _______, I could've appreciated it more." These instances can humble us and bring us to realize that life is what's going on while we're sitting around planning on how to change everything and attempting to make our lives better. 

Finally, how many of us have lain in bed at night with a thousand things on our minds, wondering how we will ever handle them all? When we write down our stresses, our rants, our worries, and our fears, we're laying them down and giving them to God; we're simply following through on our part of God's promise. He promised that we could rest our cares in Him, and doing just that can reassure us that God is listening and waiting to help us with each and every one of our problems. Psalms 55:22 says, Cast your burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain you: he shall never permit the righteous to be moved. This verse proves that God will never leave us with something we can't handle if we give it all to Him. 


I'm not always thorough with my journaling; sometimes I find myself going days, weeks, and sometimes even months without writing a single entry. But I always find myself going back, and I always pick up right where I left off. Even though our lives can take us all over the place--psychologically and physically--our journals are steady and true. They're always waiting to listen.