Hello or Goodbye?

For me, this time of year has always evoked a sense of finality. Too many endings take place at the end of a school year: graduations, the dismissal of classes whom I grown to love as a teacher and mentor, and my birthday. With all of these transitions taking place, I'm often left with a nagging void that forces me to reflect on all of the decisions, choices, and actions I made throughout the year, and if you haven't noticed, reflecting isn't always easy. Sometimes we're made to acknowledge mistakes, insecurities--maybe even a little regret--that we would rather like to stay hidden. Oh, if it were only that easy. In my case, I wonder if I did my job to the best of my ability. Did I let any relationships fall by the wayside? Did I grow in my marriage, and most importantly, did I grow more disciplined in God's Word? Just when I feel as if I've answered the questions from the past year, I'm bombarded with the fears of the future. What's next? What will my students be like this next year? Is there anything that needs to be changed, revamped? What will I set out to accomplish, and how will I become a better person in this new year of life?

Similarly, I can remember being bogged down with the feelings of fear and anxiety I dealt with as I was slowly (yet surely) saying goodbye to my old ways of eating and viewing my outward appearance. I was confused and unsure of how I was going to handle myself without my routines and habits to cushion my fall that I would undoubtedly need at some point in time. However, through God's unyielding favor, His constant protection, and His unwavering love and patience, He used something new to help me say goodbye to something that was keeping me from growing. Thankfully, He allowed me to get to a place where I could finally plant my feet and stand with confidence.

With all of these feelings of reflection from the past year, and with all of the fears of the next year flooding my mind, I'm reminded of one of my favorite promises from the Lord: "For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you an expected end." (Jeremiah 29:11) This verse and the following verses reassure us that God has a plan for us, and that when we search for His guidance, He will always show up and provide us with the answers we need. See, goodbyes aren't that scary, and the unknown of the future is nothing to be afraid of. If God has brought us out of the dark places before, He will do it again.
Goodbyes are merely hellos in disguise!

Throwing Back the Pearl

As an English teacher and book lover, I thoroughly enjoy reading the classics of literature. One of the books I read this month was John Steinbeck's The Pearl. By looking at the size of the book, you wouldn't expect to come away with having learned a valuable lesson, but that's exactly what happens. I learned a lesson that could basically make every problem I will ever face vaporize into thin air if I utilize its principles.

The story begins with exposing the simple, everyday goings-on of a poor Mexican family just coming to life. Kino and his wife, Juana, have a small baby, Coyotito. They truly relish the simplicity of life: the smells of cooking corn cakes, the sight of the sun rising and setting each day, and the sound of their son cooing and gurgling.

The conflict arises when Coyotito gets stung by a scorpion. They are aware of the risk of death if a doctor isn't seen right away. As a result, they head into town knowing that they don't have enough money to see the doctor; nevertheless, they're hopeful the doctor will sympathize with them and treat their son. The doctor, pompous and arrogant, will have nothing to do with them, however. Kino, frustrated and determined to help his son, heads out into the sea to find a pearl that will fund his son's healing and recovery. Surprisingly, Kino finds a giant pearl--a pearl no one else has ever been fortunate enough to behold. This pearl seems to embody the power to answer any questions Kino has ever had about his life. His son will now be able to go to school, he and his wife will now have new clothes, and any other need in his life will now be met.

The townspeople are now in a state of commotion, chaos, and jealously, and the pearl buyers, who have already heard of the great pearl and its beauty, are in conspiracy with each other, refusing to buy the pearl for what it's worth. Moreover, even though the baby has healed on his own, the doctor pretends that something is still wrong with him. He gives the baby something to make him sick just so he will have to heal him--all for money. To make matters worse, thieves hunt for the pearl in the middle of the night, putting Kino and his family in serious danger. Kino even ends up killing someone over the pearl. The entire time this has been transpiring, Juana has been the voice of reason. Continuously, she attempts to persuade Kino to throw back the pearl, but he refuses. One night, he catches her on her way to the ocean to throw it back, and he hits her. His family is officially tearing apart. As a consequence from all of these events, he and his family are forced to run away.

Thirsty, tired, hungry, and dirty, the family is hunted as they climb the dry, deserted mountains to a place of safety. They are eventually hunted down, however, and the baby pays the ultimate price for his father's greed.

After reading this book, my mother said that she had read this in high school. This just goes to prove that the lesson in The Pearl is timeless and that we can translate its message into every avenue of our lives. For instance, I thought of my former eating and weight issues in relation to this lesson. At one time, I achieved a weight I thought would bring me the peace and happiness I had desired for years. Oddly enough, that peace and happiness was never satisfied, and because of it, I lost relationships, my strength, my personality, my hopes, my dreams...it stripped me of life. I lived this way until I made a decision: a decision to throw back my pearl.

Sometimes it's necessary--crucial, even--to throw back our "pearls." It's one of the hardest things we will ever be faced with because it doesn't make sense. When we make ourselves believe that all of our problems will be squelched if ________ happens, it's difficult to believe life could be great in any other capacity. More often than not, however, we search our entire lives for a pearl, not knowing that we often find more than what we bargained for in the process.

In short, love, as sacred and as pure as it truly is, is all we need to live happy, successful lives. God gave us His ultimate example, and if we model ourselves after it, we will always have provision.

Living Blessed

You've truly reached your dreams when you can look at your life and find that what you have is enough.

Back to the Basics (Featured on FB)

It seems like for the greater portion of my life, I strove and fought to get to the place where I could finally say This is where I'm supposed to be.  I kept waiting on life to raise that white flag and say, "Alright. You found me!" What I learned, however, is that this "place" we strive so hard to get to is like a mirage. Sometimes we think we can see a glimpse of it forming before us, but the closer we get to it, the quicker it dissolves into thin air and replaces itself with a new vision.

Has it always been this way? Have we always been a people who are never satisfied, who are always searching for more? Was there ever a time when people just lived?

These questions truly began to develop last week while my husband and I were backpacking on Mt. LeConte, the second largest mountain in Tennessee's Great Smoky Mountains. With only a mile or so left of the trail to climb, it started to snow, and as we ascended, the weather grew colder, and the snow fell stronger and more blustery than I had ever witnessed before. As we stood there on a ledge waiting out the storm, it truly felt as if we were trapped in a blizzard. My clothes were getting wet, my hands were becoming icicles, and my spirits were dampening by the minute. Obviously, getting to my destination and getting warm were my primary concerns; all of my other worries had seemed to vanish.

Once on top of the mountain, we took refuge in the dining hall and lodge, sipping hot cocoa and resting by the gas-lit heaters. We found ourselves staring out of the window, growing increasingly more aware of the cold night in the shelter that lay before us, and as daylight slowly diminished and a icy, bleak darkness swept over the mountain, I began to think about the people who used to inhabit those mountains hundreds of years ago. They weren't worried about how many calories they consumed, how high they could climb up the corporate ladder, or how shiny their new cars were. They weren't constantly attached to cell phones or continuously checking their social-networking accounts. They focused on what was real, and reality for these people was family...and survival. We, on the contrary, live lives where failure isn't an option, where the amount of choices we have is incalculable, and where stress is a natural part of life. In sum, we live in an easy world that we choose to make difficult.

While the wind howled through the fir trees, and the first signs of sleep finally began to settle in, I realized that all it takes is getting out of our comfort zones--even for just a day--to really make us feel alive and human. Simply take us out of our element for a moment, and we will find ourselves falling back into a pattern mimicking that of a child: yearning to be warm, fed, held, dry, and clean. Everything else--all the noise that drowns out what truly matters in life--no longer remains a concern. Miraculously, the little problems that used to plague us no longer seem so important, and the little things we used to overlook now seem so precious and beautiful.

We are all guilty of forgetting how to live with the innocence of a child,  but learning to live a little simpler will allow us to truly grasp what love really means. Moreover, it will give us a broader view of the world around us, helping us to prioritize what really counts. Living a slower, simpler life can help connect us with our desire to feel safe...human...loved. This desire is what sets us apart from everything else; it's what the human soul craves the most. It's what makes being human so special.

As we hiked down the mountain the next day, the sun shone brightly, and the formerly snow-laden tree boughs revealed blooms that would blossom within a few, short days. It seemed as if we had been transplanted to another season. Life is like that sometimes. Below the surface of all of our stresses, headaches, and problems, something special is taking shape just for us. We need only to calm our minds, listen for God's still voice, and truly learn to let go of those things that incessantly burden us.

The snow storms of life don't have to stop us from living. The sun will rise again, and with that, we have peace.