The Line Between Selfishness and Selflessness

In the movies, it always seems as if the main character is always trying to prove himself to his counterparts or those in authority over him. He wants to show them that he has what it takes to succeed and make a difference. He wants people to see what he's got...what he's capable of. He's proud of his accomplishments, and he wants the world to feel the same way. We all fall in love with this kind of story because we can all relate to it.

Who's to say this couldn't be our story?

It very well could be, but sometimes, we of all people stand in our own paths, allowing negative self-talk and self-doubt to block our potential from propelling us forward.

I think one of my gifts in life is having the ability to encourage people to see their own potential. I thoroughly enjoy seeing people feel empowered to do something they might not have ever thought they could do. In all honestly, I probably feel this way so strongly because I can remember feeling stagnant for a great period of my life, whether it was in my relationship with God, my family, or in my self-belief. Then there were those recurring thoughts swimming around in my head that plagued me for years (and still do sometimes).

"Don't they remember how weak you used to be? How needy? They must see right through you and your priorities, your motives. You're not fooling anybody."

"Don't let their words go to your head. It's not you who is actually doing something worth noticing. It's not the real you, anyway. Everyone knows the real you."

"Everyone probably thinks you're doing what you're doing because you need their approval--not because you really have it within you."

Ouch. Negative self-talk? I believe that's it at its best. This thinking is a mental trap that I've fallen into too many times to count. We all have! But where is the line between selfishness and selflessness?

When I subconsciously belittle myself in front of other people, I'm only festering those wounds that used to destroy me. Some people call this modesty and humility, but when guilt and doubt factor into the equation, we have something entirely different altogether.

I've learned over the years of healing and recovery that it's not awful to care deeply for others. In fact, that's what the Bible instructs us to do. When we never feel good enough to accept that we are worthy is when we should start worrying. God wants us to set goals and do what we love. He wants us to seek out and find what he has in store for us, and we should never--ever--feel like his plan isn't good enough to be recognized. As long as we're sincerely searching for his plan, nothing should make us feel ashamed of what we've been allowed to see and accomplish in this life.

There's nothing wrong with feeling proud and empowered by something we have done. Humility and modesty is knowing when to put a cap on it, and that's the line between selfishness and selflessness.