His Will, Not Mine (Featured on Finding Balance)

When I first started college in 2004, I was eager to help girls with their eating and weight issues, so going into the nutrition field seemed to be the area in which to pursue. I had already been down that road and was still shakily teetering on the bridge between recovery and affliction. God had other plans for me, however.

In near fatal situations, most people say they see their lives flash before them. I, on the other hand, saw my future...a future I might possibly never get to experience. On October 10, 2004, I had a life-altering car accident. No, I wasn't physically altered, but I took on a change that would forever alter the way I saw myself, my world, and my future. At first, this change wasn't accepted. I did everything in my heart to do what I had originally wanted to do, thinking my plans had first priority. However, after my car accident, God revealed to me that He wanted me to live a life almost the opposite of what I wanted. A teacher? Really?  Is that what you want from me, God?  Being a teacher was not for me. I couldn't wait to get out of high school, so why on earth would I want to go back? It didn't make any sense! And what about this lingering eating problem? How am I going to get rid of it?

From college up until I had been married for a couple of years, I always felt that I was just shy of fully grasping the concept of what God was trying to do in my life. My life was a huge question mark because I couldn't make sense of the past, and the future scared me to death. Sometimes I fought God's plan like a baby fights sleep; even so, just like a calm comes over a sleeping child, a peace rested on my heart when I slowly began to make those changes God had wanted to see. All along God had been preparing me for a life I couldn't even imagine, and only recently have I begun to fully see why God chose me to do what I do. I have the opportunity to positively influence more people each day as a teacher than I would in an entire year with some other careers. It's a huge feat, but God knows what He is doing. He always does. And my eating problems? God showed me that I couldn't help others until I had helped myself first, and that if I wanted to be an influence, I was going to have to step up to the plate and take responsibility for my health.

It goes without saying that if God has you plugged into a life you don't quite understand yet, do not give up. Your primary goals may revolve around your eating and weight issues, but His plans are supreme. They can interweave into your needs and desires--even your career goals--without you even knowing it. There's always a bigger picture. His plans and yours might not make any sense at this moment, but when everything comes together, you will know why it was all worth the wait.